How to make your own crop circles

A great and funny website dedicated to the formation of British crop circles.
c i r c l e m a k e r s

Grapeshot
It is now conceded, even by the luniest of cerealogists, that ‘grapeshot’ circles, or ‘signatures’ – small circles, usually about 1 metre across, and separate from the main formation – could be regarded as of human manufacture. This type of official alert often precedes dismissal as a genuine component. There are some circle makers, meanwhile, who swear by them – different tags for different groups. Discretion is advised, however, as compulsively making grapeshot circles as you walk out of the field leaves a really naff trail to your exit.
Genuineness
A formation will be deemed genuine if:

1. you are not caught making it.
2. the pattern represents a shape which leading cerealogists could regard as of symbolic importance, and, therefore, useful on the proselyting lecture circuit, e.g. mandalas, Atlantean script, etc.
3. Any particular formation might develop its own individual folklore if:
4. it is made in a field which cerealogists later claim to have been watching.
5. light phenomena is associated with it.
6. audio phenomena is associated with it, especially in conjunction with ‘d’.
7. mysterious substances are found in it – particularly if these substances are subjected to scientific analysis and found to be, ‘not of this earth’.
8. a publicised prediction is circulated beforehand (this practice, however, may result in the pattern being repeated in a neighbouring, or the same, field). n.b. if you do correctly predict a formation, or rash of formations, it is important, like all good mystics, to exude the public manner of an enigmatic… this may bring offers of fee-earning consultation, or invitations to lecture, etc.
9. see ‘2’ above.

REMEMBER – The discovery of a formation within a 10 mile radius of any local Centre for Crop Circle Studies (CCCS) group will also ensure genuineness.
Auditions
Auditions for beginners are held on a nightly basis in the East field at Alton Barnes, in Wiltshire – but be prepared that the farmer, Polly Carson, is always on the look-out to recruit hoaxers for future formations. Due to its legendary status this location also occasionally attracts genuine, independent, circle makers.