Let There be Retards: My Special Time at the Creation Museum

January 8, 2008 D. H. McKee

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A seriously ballsy attempt to infiltrate the Creation Museum. Hilarious, and uncomfortable humour ensues.
The BEAST: America’s Best Fiend

â..You said the dinosaurs wouldnâ..t eat Adam and Eveâ.¦â.
â..Right,â. slipped in [Ken] Ham.
â..Whyyyyy?â. I pleaded. â..Why not? Why not?â.
â..In the garden,â. Ham said, looking over me into the filtering crowd, â..you know, the Bible tells us in the garden before sin, in fact in the world before sin, all animals were vegetarian and so was Adam and Eve, and even though they have sharp teethâ.¦â.
â..Why they have sharp teeth?â. I interjected in my slow droning falsetto.
A cameraman, most likely from a local news outlet, rushed to Buntingâ..s left to film the inspiring exchange.
â..Right. Thereâ..s a lot of animals that have sharp teeth, uh, that only eat plants,â. Ham ruminated, â..for instance most, most bears are primarily vegetarian, yet they have teeth like a lion or a tigerâ.¦â.

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About This Site

As a guy who occasionally curates art shows and wrangles artists together, I often have to edit and post artist bios, profile pictures, and artwork images. This can be a problem, since many artists and writers aren’t used to selling themselves. Artists rarely know how to present their art for display in a brochure, and writers aren’t used to writing about themselves.

Writers often treat the bio like it’s an interview or something. Maybe like they’re having a conversation with you, the reader. While it may work sometimes, the most common way to write a bio is to write in the 3rd person.

I’m like those writers, and I’m talking to you directly, unlike the common way to do a bio. You should see my About page. It makes sense to me, since this is a bit which describes my blog’s website. When I get famous enough that I don’t have time to talk to you, I’ll have an intern write everything in 3rd person. Until then, you get to talk to me.

Like blogs of old, this one is a personal document of the comings and goings of me. Articles I’ve written, links I’ve posted, videos I liked, etc. Here, a first-person perspective is the way to go, at least for now. So, this is my site. I’m D. H. McKee, a sometimes artist, sometimes writer. Mostly just a guy on the internet.