the gulf war two drinking game

drink when:

• Bush is called a crusader (x2 if its by Saddam)
  
• Saddam is called evil (x2 if its by Bush)
  
• Iraq troops surrender to the media (x2 if to a unmanned vehicle or inanimate object)
  
• Iraq uses weapons it claims not to have
  
• the United States uses weapons it won’t allow iraq to have
  
• a member of the media gets shot at
  
• a toast to the shooter if it’s Ashleigh Banfield (msnbc), Geraldo Riviera (fox) or Arron Brown (cnn)
  
• Saddam uses a Scud he doesnt have (x2 if its towards Israel)
  
• the United States terrorist threat level changes
  
• the United States government tries to link Iraq to 9-11
  
• France goes pro-US invasion
  
• Germany takes the side of the United States in a global war
  
• Dominique de Villepin reminds you of that annoying rich kid in high school
  
• someone implies Tony Blair is Bush’s bitch
  
• someone implies Scott Ritter is Saddam’s bitch
  
• anybody ‘warns’ anybody
  
• the word “escalation” is used
  
• Iraq and the United States are shown seated next to each other in the united nations
  
• an American is shot down over Iraq (x2 if an Iraqi makes in into an aircraft)
  
• an American is shot, (x2 if its by an enemy)
  
• the media compares the war to blackhawk down (x2 if its because a blackhawk really goes down)
  
• a puppet government is installed in Iraq (x2 if its by the puppet government installed in the US)
  
• Saddam uses the word ‘Zionist’ (x2 if its bin laden)
  
• you change your opinion on the war
  
• the media shows Iraqi children in a hospital because of international sanctions (x2 if its because of American military action)
  
• finish your drink if Saddam actually put them there, but claimed it was the United States
  
• Iraq promises full and complete cooporation with inspectors
  
• Iraqi civilians greet Americans with cheers (x2 if its with bullets)
  
• the Saudis do something the United States accuses Iraq of doing
  
• North Korea does something the United States accused Iraq of doing (x2 if they don’t get away with it)
  
• Al-Jazeera is referred to as the “Arab CNN”
  
• finish your drink if CNN is referred to as the “American Al-Jazeera”
  
• the conflict is compared to the Vietnam War (x2 if the word “quagmire” is used)
  
• Saddam goes missing
  
• finish your drink if he is confimed killed
  
• the Pope is said to “pray for peace”
  
• Bush mispronounces the word ‘nuclear’
  
• finish your drink if its referring to a bomb that has gone off
  
• Richard Armitage’s neck shows up
  
• if you can’t find Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, Oman, or the United Arab Emirates on a map (x2 if you even own a map of the region)
  
• finish your drink if you can pronounce them all correctly
  
• any of the following commentators are on tv: (x1 Ken Pollack, Khidhir Hamza, General Wesley Clark, Col. David Hackworth, General Bernard Trainor, David Kay, Richard Butler, Thomas Friedman, Scott Ritter, Thomas Andrews, anybody running for United States President) (x2 General Norman Schwarzkopf, General Walt Boomer, General Buster Glosson, Brent Scowcroft, James Baker, Richard Perle, William Kristol, James Woolsey, Henry Kissinger) (x3 any former United States president)
  
• an actor or actress expresses an opinion on the war (x2 if this is the first time you’ve seen them in a year)
  
• an American reminds the French of World War I and II (x2 if a Frenchman reminds the Americans of the Revolutionary War)
  
• Saddam torches the oil fields
  
• someone reports from “the Arab street”
  
• Colin Powell looks exasperated sitting at the U.N. security council (x2 if its because a country you didn’t know exists is commenting on the war)
  
• anyone in the Bush administration says “make no mistake”
  
• the American military are told what to do by someone with no military experience (x2 if they dodged the vietnam draft) (x3 if they dodged the vietnam draft, are an ex-governer of a southern US state, and ever held or holds the title of ‘Commander-in-Chief’)
  
• Tariq Azziz’s glasses get larger
  
• somebody says Saddam “tortures his own people”
  
• you momentarly confuse George Roberston with Shrek
  
• an Arab country staging American troops speaks against the war
  
• an Arrow anti-missle missle is fired (x2 if it intercepts something)
  
• Tom Ridge laughs while discussing potential terrorists attacks
  
• God/Allah picks a side
  
• finish your drink if its not your god
  
• somebody implies a blood for oil trade may be in progress (x2 if that person owns a S.U.V.)
  
• a protest sign attacks Bush directly (x2 if it attacks Saddam directly)
  
• The United States bombs anything in Iraq before the fighting ‘offically’ starts (x2 if Iraq tries the same thing)
  
• Saddam is compared to Hitler (x2 if Bush is compared to Hitler)
  
• someone compares the size of Iraq to California or France
  
• The media refers to itself as ’embedded’
  
• someone says “shock and awe”
  
• The words “Weapon(s) of Mass Destruction” are used (x2 if its shortned to “WMD”)
  
• A US Official uses the word “liberate”
  
• Bush says “innocent civilians”
  
• Bush quotes scripture (x2 Saddam quotes the Koran)
  
• Somebody says “between Iraq and a hard place”
  
• A videophone craps out (x2 the anchor apologizes for it)
  
• Someone on TV says something contradictory to what is on their news ticker
  
• A news correspondent asks if they can still be heard (x2 if they say “Can you hear me now?”)
  
• Any political or military leader refers to Australia