Notice for Liquor Licence Application: Mos Eisley Cantina

Spent much of the evening playing JK2 while R sat beside me and played Tropico2. Here’s my reasoning: George Lucas has ruined Star Wars for me. I would rather play JK2 than go see “Revenge of the Sith”. It’s probably more realistic, probably has a better storyline, better acting (even with those creepy, hollow-looking models). But here’s the big reason: Luke Skywalker is now the only cool character in the Star Wars saga (actually, it’s a toss-up between him and Lando Calrissian).
Obviously, Darth Vader’s been ruined for me by the Episode1 and 2 fiascos — The pouty Hayden Christensen is Darth Vader? I mean, come on! Darth Vader’s supposed to be cool! Give him some room — make him a rebel without a cause — an emotionally detatched lone wolf, or something. The first time I knew there was trouble was when Darth said that he was Luke’s father. I thought for a moment that it was a clever ploy to mentally destabilize Luke. But then I saw “Jedi” and was disappointed. Oh, and then, there was all the midi-chlorion crap and virgin birth jokes of “Episode 1”.
Boba Fett was pretty cool; you know, galaxy’s greatest bounty hunter and all that — mysterious origins, maybe descended from Mandalorians, given his “unique” armour. We’ll guess what. Now we’ve got his dad, this half-assed bounty hunter, Jango Fett, who just happens to own a Mandalorian second-time-around store, and we have (literally) the same thing that’s going on in Star Wars Galaxies right now — everyone wants to be Boba Fett. And guess what? Everyone is! Millions of clones of Boba Fett just wandering around the galaxy. And some “hidden origin” too: I was a clone. I have 300 million brothers. My useless dad was killed by a jedi. This made me the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy. Oh yeah, and I’m clumsily devoured by a Sarlacc in “Jedi”.
That leaves Han Solo. Yeah, well, until Greedo shot first. Now he’s got nothing.
And Chewbacca was never cool. I’m sorry Chewie.
I was going to include IG-88 on the list. It was pretty cool and a little scary — a droid that went on killing things. Became a lot less cool because of all the crap done with droids (roger-roger) in the “first” episodes. But he really didn’t have a speaking part, so doesn’t really count.
So, last night I started playing JK2 again. I’ve had my fill. Got a sore back, and stiff legs from sitting for so long. But at least I got my fill of decapitating stormtroopers and listening to a great soundtrack. But there are limits to what a great soundtrack can do for a film. So I will remain skeptical about “Episode 3” until — well, probably forever. In Lucas’s striving for closure, he’s been tying up plot threads like a kitten in a yarn basket. I bet we’ll be introduced to a baby Han Solo, and a teenage Jabba … and I can totally see a scene where a cantina owner applies for a liquor license on Tatooine.

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