Canadian Plots to Overthrow U.S.

December 16, 2005 D. H. McKee

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In October, residents of NYC reported smelling an odor throughout Manhattan that resembled that of maple syrup. No explanation for this smell could be found and it was soon relegated to the sidelines of the city’s collective conscience. That is, until late last week, when residents once again awoke in the still of the night to the smell of breakfast wafting through Gotham.
What is this mystery smell? Where does it come from? To find out, SSW launched an investigation with our crack team of journalists and scientists. After laboring all weekend, we cracked the case. The overwhelming evidence points to a sinister Canadian plot to overthrow the US Government by destabilizing our economy by using the secret nerve gas formulation Maple B. The evidence is compelling:
Records obtained by our operatives in Ottawa show that during the Cold War, Canadian scientists developed a method of extracting nerve agents from one of Canada’s chief natural resources–maple syrup. This agent, unlike most nerve agents, works subtly and over time, wearing down the exposed’s desire to engage in complicated tasks and instead only think of pancakes and waffles.

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