The First Church of XENU
Dark Lord Xenu is falsely imprisioned by a terrorist regime that charges millions of currency units to hear its tale regarding this truth we have told you. They skew our truths. They try to spread lies about our Master, saying he was a tyrant and an evil dictator. These accusations are simply unfounded. Lord Xenu only sought out an answer to the Galactic Confederacy’s overpopulation problem. A viable solution.
We, the true aliens of the Confederacy, support our wrongly imprisioned Dark Lord. As we speak our teams, comprised of millions of the best scientific minds that the Confederacy has to offer, are working on a way to disable the force-field to Xenu’s cage. The rebirth of our Master is at hand. We will crush all who oppose us. Our number is many, our power is great. Soon the world will know the truth about our Dark Lord and Master.