12 Most Preposterously Awful Things

June 16, 2008 D. H. McKee

Off

… about M. Night Shyamalanâ..s The Happening and Lady in the Water. Here are two gems:

Shymalan has written a story wherein a writer is prophesized to be so brilliant, his prose so spectacular, that it will save the world. Shyamalan then proceeded to cast himself in the role of the messianic writer. There has ever been a more ridiculously self-fellating casting decision in the history of film. Itâ..s as if Shyamalan said to himself, â..Hmmâ.¦ whatâ..s the best way to get the audience to tell me to go fuck myself?â.

And:

… Wahlberg has the misfortune of having more screen time than anyone else in a film where the director clearly told the actors â..Okay, now for this scene, I want you to be as terrible as you possibly can. I mean, like career-destroyingly bad.â. It doesnâ..t help that Wahlberg is playing a high school science teacher named Elliot and manages to come across as so empty-headed and clueless that he couldn’t work a pencil-sharpener, much less bunsen burner.

Topless Robot – The 12 Most Preposterously Awful Things About M. Night Shyamalanâ..s â..The Happeningâ. and â..Lady in the Waterâ. – Page 1

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As a guy who occasionally curates art shows and wrangles artists together, I often have to edit and post artist bios, profile pictures, and artwork images. This can be a problem, since many artists and writers aren’t used to selling themselves. Artists rarely know how to present their art for display in a brochure, and writers aren’t used to writing about themselves.

Writers often treat the bio like it’s an interview or something. Maybe like they’re having a conversation with you, the reader. While it may work sometimes, the most common way to write a bio is to write in the 3rd person.

I’m like those writers, and I’m talking to you directly, unlike the common way to do a bio. You should see my About page. It makes sense to me, since this is a bit which describes my blog’s website. When I get famous enough that I don’t have time to talk to you, I’ll have an intern write everything in 3rd person. Until then, you get to talk to me.

Like blogs of old, this one is a personal document of the comings and goings of me. Articles I’ve written, links I’ve posted, videos I liked, etc. Here, a first-person perspective is the way to go, at least for now. So, this is my site. I’m D. H. McKee, a sometimes artist, sometimes writer. Mostly just a guy on the internet.