… about M. Night Shyamalanâ..s The Happening and Lady in the Water. Here are two gems:
Shymalan has written a story wherein a writer is prophesized to be so brilliant, his prose so spectacular, that it will save the world. Shyamalan then proceeded to cast himself in the role of the messianic writer. There has ever been a more ridiculously self-fellating casting decision in the history of film. Itâ..s as if Shyamalan said to himself, â..Hmmâ.¦ whatâ..s the best way to get the audience to tell me to go fuck myself?â.
… Wahlberg has the misfortune of having more screen time than anyone else in a film where the director clearly told the actors â..Okay, now for this scene, I want you to be as terrible as you possibly can. I mean, like career-destroyingly bad.â. It doesnâ..t help that Wahlberg is playing a high school science teacher named Elliot and manages to come across as so empty-headed and clueless that he couldn’t work a pencil-sharpener, much less bunsen burner.