Why we long for a thong

I hate thongs. The thing about thongs is that they hurt. They irritate and chafe and feel like you’ve got a shoelace caught between your buttocks. A dastardly invention . no doubt the brain-spurt of some lisping misogynist . they are too cruel a price to pay for avoiding the ignominy of visible panty lines. Memorialized in hip-hop song (“thong th-thong-thong-thong”), they are nevertheless a, well, crotchety piece of apparel. Further, thongs were the bloomers of choice for a certain White House intern who infamously snapped hers at the President in the Oval Office, reason enough to eschew them, says I.



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