My mom’s on the Internet!

August 8, 2005 D. H. McKee

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Now, this is one of the weirdest emails I never expected to get at work (and I get penis-enlarging spam every day — even from co-workers!). It’s from my dad’s email account, so I was a little surprised by the wording and format:
———————-
Subject: hi from London
hi d—- daddy is trying to teach me how to use the computer. how is
everything in Kitchener? We are both fine and not enjoying this weather it’s just too hot. What did you do on the long weekend? wrong question since it’s only the government employees that get that holiday.
well i guess i’ll close because i’m starting to babble
Hope to see you and r—- someday soon.
love mom
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Pretty cute, no? Who’d have thought my mom would get on the ‘net? Here was my response:
———————-
Subject: RE: hi from London
Hi Mom,
Good to hear you’re finally on the InterWeb.
Things are good, I was working Monday, but everyone else got the day off, so I got a spare day to use at some other point. We went swimming at a friend’s pool!
I’m glad you emailed me at work! My home Internet connection’s been offline for the past couple of days, since I moved all the networking equipment into this menacing 32-U server cabinet. My Linksys DSL router gave up the ghost, but I wasn’t able to pin it down until just last night. I thought it was the DSL modem, so I got this new 3Mb modem from a computer store in town (it’s one of those ones that you need to reprogram before you can use it). Anyway, I’m probably going to Best Buy tonight, and see if I can find a nice inexpensive DSL/Cable router that I can use in place of my old Linksys box. Its strange, because the unit still works as a switch, and appears to still work as a wireless access point, but the broadband router portion is completely non-functional.
Sorry for the jargon-ripe meandering. Hope you’re finding the InterWeb a fun place.
We’ll probably see you guys in the next couple of weeks or so.
Give my love to Dad.
———————-
I know, I’m going straight to hell.

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As a guy who occasionally curates art shows and wrangles artists together, I often have to edit and post artist bios, profile pictures, and artwork images. This can be a problem, since many artists and writers aren’t used to selling themselves. Artists rarely know how to present their art for display in a brochure, and writers aren’t used to writing about themselves.

Writers often treat the bio like it’s an interview or something. Maybe like they’re having a conversation with you, the reader. While it may work sometimes, the most common way to write a bio is to write in the 3rd person.

I’m like those writers, and I’m talking to you directly, unlike the common way to do a bio. You should see my About page. It makes sense to me, since this is a bit which describes my blog’s website. When I get famous enough that I don’t have time to talk to you, I’ll have an intern write everything in 3rd person. Until then, you get to talk to me.

Like blogs of old, this one is a personal document of the comings and goings of me. Articles I’ve written, links I’ve posted, videos I liked, etc. Here, a first-person perspective is the way to go, at least for now. So, this is my site. I’m D. H. McKee, a sometimes artist, sometimes writer. Mostly just a guy on the internet.