How to order wine without looking like an asshole

Some good sound advice from an uppity waiter:
DO NOT SMELL THE CORK! – When I see someone do this I know Iâ..m dealing with a complete amateur. Guess what youâ gonna smell? Cork! You want to feel the cork to make sure itâ..s intact. Is the bottom of the cork moistened with wine? Good. That means it was stored properly. Make sure the name on the cork matches the name on the bottle. Sometimes unscrupulous bastards put cheap wine in old wine bottles and re-cork them! Is there mold on the cork? Thatâ..s a bad sign. But smelling the cork, in the vast majority of cases, tells you nothing. – HOW TO ORDER WINE WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE AN ASSHOLE

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