Dear Tech Support: I was drunk at the time…

Wow. I’ve been a tech support guy for almost 9 years now. I’ve flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff, but I’ve never seen anything like this email from an irate end-user:
“I sincerely apologize for how I acted in my last message. I was drunk at the time I sent it, but I do not claim that as an excuse, only a reason.”
From the tone of the user’s previous three or four emails, I just assumed he was being a jerk. You know — typical end-user who thinks they can leverage you like a large corporate customer can. I’m sorry, but there’s a certain pecking order around in the tech support world. You can’t get me fired, you can’t get me to send you free software, you’re lucky we even talk to you, since you’re not even a paying customer. I’ve no problems with anything you say to me in an email. At least you weren’t writing in ALL CAPS LIKE SOME OF THE PEOPLE WHO EMAIL ME!!! WITH A THOUSAND EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!!
But then this email comes in. I mean, whoah. How does one respond to something like this? “It’s OK, you’re swell.” “No problem.” “Hey, we all fly off the handle when we’re drunk and emailing tech support.” Who even sends an email like this? Is this guy in AA? Was he required to contact all the tech support people he’s previously ragged on? Did his mom read the message out of his “Sent” folder? Yikes.
What, did he think we were crying over here?
Still. Nice enough of him to let us know. I think. I’m still not sure I wanted to know that he was angry and drunk and emailing me.
Let’s just hope I never have to send an email like this to a customer.

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