Stealing security

January 25, 2007 D. H. McKee

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So, the strangest thing happened to me this morning. I was at the gym, doing my pre-work workout as I do every other day or so. When I got back to my locker, someone had ripped the lock off the door. Just ripped it off. My locker was gaping wide, with the door just hanging on its hinges. Nothing was taken from the locker, unless you count the lock itself. My wallet, Blackberry, cash, keys, ID … clothes — everything was still in there.
I stormed over to the main desk and started ranting about thieves, and how no one can feel safe anymore, etc. The owner’s son ran back with me to double-check that nothing else had been taken. It looks like a few of the lockers had had their loops cut with a bolt-cutter sometime long ago before the renovations, and this concerned me whenever I saw it — but not enough to find a more secure locker. These loops were bent back into shape, and most anything short of a pair of griplock pliers would have had a hard time bending them.
Well, so I thought. Remember this place breeds bodybuilders. Also, the lock I had was one of those combination carabiners, it was an oblong shape, with more leverage than a standard combination lock. Also, it was blue and shiny.
But still, why go through the trouble (and presumably pain) of bending one of these lockers open, stealing the (locked) lock, and leaving all the good stuff inside? Were they going to steal everything, but were interrupted? Were they just bent on a little vandalism? Were they trying to teach me a lesson about securing my valuables properly? Were they gym staff, trying to encourage me to rent a better, newer locker?
Or were they just high school kids, out to prove their machismo to their buddies? And desiring something shiny?
To their credit, the management at the gym gave me a new combination lock (I think I’ve already forgotten the combo) so I could shower without worrying about my stuff. To their discredit, they were a little laissez-faire about it, when they found out nothing had really been stolen. I’m betting they’re not even going to fix those ‘problem’ lockers.

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As a guy who occasionally curates art shows and wrangles artists together, I often have to edit and post artist bios, profile pictures, and artwork images. This can be a problem, since many artists and writers aren’t used to selling themselves. Artists rarely know how to present their art for display in a brochure, and writers aren’t used to writing about themselves.

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