Dreaded X-mas Eve

December 24, 2001 D. H. McKee

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Oh, dreaded X-mas Eve. Ever since my Mom got all religious on me, she and my father have been going to church every Sunday. So tonight, I agreed to go to a special X-mas Eve mass with her — just to keep her from bugging me later — remember, I’ve got 4 more days to go, and don’t want the extra stress. I figured, what the hell, it’s only once, and I just have to be there, I don’t have to participate at all.
Well, after the first 10 minutes, I offered Dad CDN$1000 to leave right then. Here’s some of the insanity which followed.

loads of flag waving and sabre rattling

an astounding bit of intolerance to other religions and cultures

white spandex-clad virgins doing some kind of modern "virgin dance" (Note: this part wasn’t too bad)

a horribly patronizing scene in which some doddering old guy told a lame-ass Jesus story to a bunch of snot-nosed kids on stage

two of those noisy snot-nosed kids sitting directly in front of me, screaming at their passive asshole parents

some fat redneck and his clan sitting directly behind me, kicking my seat in time with the X-mas carols

missed lines, out-of-tune choirs, a slew of AV problems, and my mom going on about how nice it was

Picked up Steve and his girlfriend at the Tampa airport tonight. What a kid. He’s jetting in from California on X-mas day and jetting back on New Year’s Day.

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As a guy who occasionally curates art shows and wrangles artists together, I often have to edit and post artist bios, profile pictures, and artwork images. This can be a problem, since many artists and writers aren’t used to selling themselves. Artists rarely know how to present their art for display in a brochure, and writers aren’t used to writing about themselves.

Writers often treat the bio like it’s an interview or something. Maybe like they’re having a conversation with you, the reader. While it may work sometimes, the most common way to write a bio is to write in the 3rd person.

I’m like those writers, and I’m talking to you directly, unlike the common way to do a bio. You should see my About page. It makes sense to me, since this is a bit which describes my blog’s website. When I get famous enough that I don’t have time to talk to you, I’ll have an intern write everything in 3rd person. Until then, you get to talk to me.

Like blogs of old, this one is a personal document of the comings and goings of me. Articles I’ve written, links I’ve posted, videos I liked, etc. Here, a first-person perspective is the way to go, at least for now. So, this is my site. I’m D. H. McKee, a sometimes artist, sometimes writer. Mostly just a guy on the internet.