Early-Bird Special

Went out for seafood tonight. Well, I didn’t have any, but it was a pretty famous seafood restaurant, and I thought it might be kinda neat to see the place — picture it: all kinds of crazy sea paraphernalia on the rough wooden walls, with a nice view of the bay, and no vegetarian dishes.
After some pleading, the waiter agreed on serving Fettucine Alfredo, sans shrimp, but he carded me when I ordered a Corona. My argument was that if I was worried about being carded, I wouldn’t have ordered a crappy Mexican beer, but he insisted. He said it was his duty to ID anyone who looked (get this) under 35. Wanna know the weird part? I was the only one in there who looked under 35. This was because my parents have gotten used to eating the "Early Bird Specials", like all the retired people in Florida. I don’t know about you, but dinner at 4:30pm is not my idea of dinner.
Steve and his girlfriend have decided to come down for X-mas, but we’re still not sure if they can make it in time. Their timetable keeps getting shifted around, so they might not be able to get out when they want to. With all that’s happened in the US recently, security’s going to be really tight.
Time to look like a tourist. Pretty snazzy, eh? Just a few more Tom Collinses and I’ll be ready to handle this.