Dreaded X-mas Eve

Oh, dreaded X-mas Eve. Ever since my Mom got all religious on me, she and my father have been going to church every Sunday. So tonight, I agreed to go to a special X-mas Eve mass with her — just to keep her from bugging me later — remember, I’ve got 4 more days to go, and don’t want the extra stress. I figured, what the hell, it’s only once, and I just have to be there, I don’t have to participate at all.
Well, after the first 10 minutes, I offered Dad CDN$1000 to leave right then. Here’s some of the insanity which followed.

  • loads of flag waving and sabre rattling

  • an astounding bit of intolerance to other religions and cultures

  • white spandex-clad virgins doing some kind of modern "virgin dance" (Note: this part wasn’t too bad)

  • a horribly patronizing scene in which some doddering old guy told a lame-ass Jesus story to a bunch of snot-nosed kids on stage

  • two of those noisy snot-nosed kids sitting directly in front of me, screaming at their passive asshole parents

  • some fat redneck and his clan sitting directly behind me, kicking my seat in time with the X-mas carols

  • missed lines, out-of-tune choirs, a slew of AV problems, and my mom going on about how nice it was

Picked up Steve and his girlfriend at the Tampa airport tonight. What a kid. He’s jetting in from California on X-mas day and jetting back on New Year’s Day.

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