Man charged for having sex with a table

Say, that’s a really nice table you’ve got there. Reeealy nice.
WTOL.com, Toledo’s News Leader, News 11 | Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table

Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.
Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.
The neighbor — who wishes to remain anonymous — saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.

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