ROTTEN TOMATOES: Worst of the Worst 2009

September 25, 2009 D. H. McKee

Off

Ok, I was feeling pretty good about myself, having only seen one of these films (Kaena: The Prophecy [2004]), and even then only picking it out of a foreign language section at the local quirky video store.
But then, at #1, was the film I dreaded. I did see this, on a whim, without any knowledge of the film, seeing no advertising, and just going with it, based on the actors in the poster. I still cry at night when I think about that film.

Over the last decade, we’ve collected reviews for thousands of movies. Most films, even profoundly mediocre ones, can expect to receive at least cursory support from the pundits. However, once in a while, a film will take such a critical drubbing that further attention is warranted. That’s where our Worst of the Worst list comes in. We’ve compiled a veritable cornucopia of dull, foolhardy, and outright terrible films, from legendary duds (Battlefield Earth) to chuckle-deficient comedies (Epic Movie), from hapless sequels (Basic Instinct 2) to scare-free would-be fright fests (Alone in the Dark). We’ve pored over the reviews to bring you the lowest Tomatometers of the decade — including several (All About Steve, Whiteout) that were released within the last several weeks. In other words, we suffered for our work — now it’s your turn.

ROTTEN TOMATOES: Worst of the Worst 2009

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As a guy who occasionally curates art shows and wrangles artists together, I often have to edit and post artist bios, profile pictures, and artwork images. This can be a problem, since many artists and writers aren’t used to selling themselves. Artists rarely know how to present their art for display in a brochure, and writers aren’t used to writing about themselves.

Writers often treat the bio like it’s an interview or something. Maybe like they’re having a conversation with you, the reader. While it may work sometimes, the most common way to write a bio is to write in the 3rd person.

I’m like those writers, and I’m talking to you directly, unlike the common way to do a bio. You should see my About page. It makes sense to me, since this is a bit which describes my blog’s website. When I get famous enough that I don’t have time to talk to you, I’ll have an intern write everything in 3rd person. Until then, you get to talk to me.

Like blogs of old, this one is a personal document of the comings and goings of me. Articles I’ve written, links I’ve posted, videos I liked, etc. Here, a first-person perspective is the way to go, at least for now. So, this is my site. I’m D. H. McKee, a sometimes artist, sometimes writer. Mostly just a guy on the internet.