Never Expect a Rude Native to Mix Drinks

Hung out with some friends at the Rude Native last night. Nice place. They moved across the street, and a little closer to Waterloo Town Square. This was a little while ago. They’ve increased the Tiki theme about 26% from their previous location. They also have a wifi hotspot, but it appears to be closed.
It was a little noisey there on Fri, but the DJ was spinning an interesting mix. You had to wade through a herd of smokers just to get inside, but once in there, the DJ was mixing in a booth by the door — a veritable maitre’d mixmaster.
They do not know how to make drinks there. I figured a Tiki-themed bar would know all about mixing drinks (or at least would have a Mulligan’s Bar Guide hanging on a hook somewhere near the bar). But alas, no. I ordered a Martini, but was wise to the ways bartenders in Waterloo make these things. So I asked specifically for an Extra-Dry-Gin-Martini-with-an-Olive. It came in a Skyy Vodka Martini glass, and was made with Beefeater gin. Next time, I’ll specify an Extra-Dry-Bombay-Gin-Martini-with-an-Olive.
An associate ordered a Gin Fizz, and got a Half-Lime-Half-Gin.
I then ordered a Tom Collins. Everybody’s heard of this, I thought. They named a glass after it. Besides, this is a TIKI BAR (or reasonable facsimile) and specializes in fruity, sweet drinks. Sure enough, I got a Gin and Tonic, in an Old-fashioned glass. I complained later about this to my friends, and was surprised that few of them knew how to make a Tom Collins. So for those who haven’t heard of this exotic, yet refined drink, I present the most common version of this recipe:

• 2 oz Gin
  
• 1 oz Lemon Juice
  
• 1 tsp Superfine Sugar
  
• 3 oz Club Soda
  
• 1 Orange Slice
  
• 1 Maraschino Cherry